


months to blooming

by ewagan



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewagan/pseuds/ewagan
Summary: december is not a month for blooming.
Relationships: August & Mikage Hisoka & Utsuki Chikage, Mikage Hisoka & Utsuki Chikage
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	months to blooming

**Author's Note:**

  * For [revolving](https://archiveofourown.org/users/revolving/gifts).



december is not a month for blooming.

december is a month when everything goes to sleep, when the nights are long and the snow falls softly, softly.

something about it speaks of grief, in the starkness of branches, the hushed air, the way the river seems to run slower.

in december, april loses everything that is important to him and thus loses himself. grief becomes rage and rage is tamped down into a sharp knife, cold and merciless as he considers his next options. he watches and he waits, lays the foundations for his next steps. if the organisation is right, it is december who has betrayed them, betrayed _him_.

after all, if december was innocent, surely he would have returned and the two of them would go and destroy those who had taken august from them. surely he wouldn’t have left april alone to discover the truth.

december is frigid and distant, no warmth to be had as he cleans his guns, checks that they're working as they should. he scours documents and loses hours in research, plays the perfect salaryman and watches december in secret. the play makes his lip curl at the sentimentality, and the notion of december being anything close to an angel is laughable. he knows what december has done, how bloodstained those small hands are.

how they are now stained with the blood of the only person april might say he loved.

he doesn't bother with gingerbread that year.

april, the trees come back to life. they bud and they bloom, sakura petals falling as thickly as snow. everywhere, things are waking up. leaves unfurl and expand, taking in sun and light and warmth.

it's a season for growing, for new life. it's hope and earnestness and unfolding and reaching out. it is washing away the grief of winter with the spring rains, finding something new buried underneath all that had been lost in winter.

he is april when he joins the troupe, having set himself up months ago when he'd discovered the connection between him and mankai company. it had been so easy to say the right things, do the right things. it was an act to get him closer so he could remind december of his sins, remind him that there way only one way out of the organisation.

but there is no december there, only mikage hisoka who knew nothing, remembered nothing. mankai is a company of actors and he knows december well, knows that mikage hisoka is a disguise as much as utsuki chikage was someone he was playing at.

only that it is true, that the truth is somehow better and worse than he could imagine. he knows august and he knows december; he knows them as well as his own heart. so he knows that december must be telling the truth, and that the traitor was never really december.

it was him.

april becomes chikage and it is in april that everything changes. the ice cracks and melts slowly, then in a flood. misplaced grief and anger because he thought he'd also lost december, and really the truth is you can't hate someone unless you loved and loved deeply.

and well, the truth? the truth is that april had loved december almost as much as he'd loved august, because between the two of them there was something he called home. even if they drove him up the wall with their ridiculous habits and love for everything overly sweet, even if they'd been annoying and too loud and too quiet in turns. they had been what he'd called home, something so terribly fragile that had held him together.

april is the slow healing, the new growth and learning to become someone else. to mankai he is not april, he is utsuki chikage. april and december had been family, but utsuki chikage and mikage hisoka are family too. they are two people who watch the cherry blossoms fall quietly and tsumugi's garden burst into bloom, two shadows slowly stepping into the light.

in between them, august. high heat and sweet ice, endless warmth and the brilliance of the sun at high noon. restlessness in the air, a far cry from the stillness of december and the slow unfurling of april.

august is the time to laugh and to love, to feel warmth seep in and take residence there, to believe in impossible things. things like family and faith and forevers, the smell of gunpowder and laughter ringing, ringing.

august is the month they go to all the wrong places together, the two of them revisiting places they shouldn't. the high cliffs where december died, the beach where mikage hisoka was found, the old warehouse that had somehow been a home. they clean it out together slowly, sorting through august's documents and mess of unlabelled chemicals.

they find hidden stashes of sweets and reminders of an old life–a worn sweater draped over the dusty sofa, a single sock forgotten under the bed, reminders to buy more toilet paper and some part of chikage aches for this half finished life. there's not much of it because of the nature of their lives and work, but each small reminder that they were more than just april or august or december _aches_.

their warehouse becomes less cold as they clean it out, wiping away the layers of dust and uncovering old memories. the way august had laughed always, his small kindnesses and the larger ones, his brightness and enthusiasm for this little family of theirs. his warmth had made this place a home, and in grief chikage had turned it into a grave.

he forgot that the sun slants in through their tiny window on summer days, dust sparkling like gold as it swirls through the air. he's forgotten many things.

august is when chikage learns to laugh, bright and full in the summer heat. they set off fireworks in the courtyard. the adults share sake and beer while the younger ones yell and start silly competitions. he can hear tenma yelping and banri hollering, citron's delighted laughter mixed with muku and kumon's ooh-ing and ahh-ing, homare's clear voice reciting some poem or another in between the loud bangs of fireworks. it's the kind of family he never had, loud and full and so _many_. tsumugi and tasuku argue about some theatre technicality while azuma and sakyo duke it out over mahjong. even hisoka is awake, watching the lights bloom and fade, bloom and fade.

he catches chikage watching him and offers him a smile, small and tentative. chikage can feel the answering smile on his face, blooming like the fireworks in the sky.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments appreciated


End file.
